


Life In Pieces

by Dragongoddess13



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multiple Pov, POV First Person, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:40:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25489402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragongoddess13/pseuds/Dragongoddess13
Summary: This is weird. I write for a living but I can’t seem to find the words to write on a page that only you and I will ever read. I know you wanted me to write everyday, but there are days I can’t even write for one of my novels, so I don’t know how I’m going to write here everyday. I’ll try though.Arya Stark, famed author, estranged from her family, moves south to a village like community in Storm's End to start fresh. It's here that everything begins to change for the better when she meets a handsome blacksmith and smarmy music composer with words scrawled across their skin.
Relationships: Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Podrick Payne/Arya Stark, Podrick Payne/Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Podrick Payne/Gendry Waters
Comments: 34
Kudos: 83





	1. StormBreaker Valley

**Author's Note:**

> There's only like two chapters of this left to write, so updates will be pretty regular.

Life in Pieces

Chapter 1: StormBreaker Valley

xXx

**_An excerpt from Soulmates: A Love Letter from The Universe, or Shackles to a Higher Calling, A thesis paper written by Dr. Albert Kantel._ **

_ From a young age humans are taught to love. We love our parents, our siblings, our friends; but there is another stage to love that some learn when they hit puberty. The idea that someone is out there, someone who was made specifically for us. A soulmate. Someone whose first words appear on their partner’s skin at puberty. To some a soulmate is everything. To others they are shackles to an idea they get no say in. Regardless of where you stand in the great debate, one thing is known for certain, a soulmate is not a guarantee.  _

xXx

**Journal Entry 1:**

This is weird. I write for a living but I can’t seem to find the words to write on a page that only you and I will ever read. I know you wanted me to write everyday, but there are days I can’t even write for one of my novels, so I don’t know how I’m going to write here everyday. I’ll try though. This writing by hand thing is awful though. My hand hasn’t been this tired since that time I got super pretentious and tried writing exclusively on a manual typewriter. I know you want a stream of consciousness, no backspace with pen and paper, but I’m already exhausted after one paragraph. 

I arrived at the ranch about three hours ago. The drive up was beautiful. I took the long way to enjoy the scenery; and I did. It was scenic in a way I haven’t seen since my childhood in Winterfell. The mountains on one side and the coast on the other, it was like driving down a long winding spine, but with a cool mountain breeze and the scent of briney air all around me. It was a far cry from the crisp winds of the North but then again, everything is. I drove with the vinyl sheeting removed from my jeep, feeling more invigorated than I have in a long time. The feelings of melancholy that have seemingly overtaken my life in the last few years sort of drifted away and I allowed myself to believe that this was a sign of things to come. 

As I pulled off the highway and into the valley, the view only got better. It’s early autumn, as you well know and the foliage is still clinging thickly to the trees here. The colors have already begun to shift though, and it’s gorgeous, just a sea of deep reds and vibrant yellows and warm oranges stretched out for miles and miles in all directions. The road through the valley looks like something out of one of those travel magazines advertising apple picking and hayrides. I know it sounds silly but I had a sudden fit of nostalgia at the thought, wishing for the first time in years that I was back in Winterfell for the fall harvest and everything that went with it.

Maybe that’s not silly, maybe that’s normal, but it felt silly at the time. I’m the one who left, I’m the one who cut herself off, I did this to myself and this is what I have to live with. I know, you would probably tell me not to think that way, that saying things like that was a good way to back slide, but it’s hard not to think like that. I know what I did was right for me at the time, but it doesn’t stop the longing to return home. They used to tell me growing up that I was a Stark through and through. That I had that Northern wolf’s blood in me and that this was where I belonged. I was so proud of that, so happy to hear it, to be validated when I felt like an outsider, when I was treated like an outsider by some. But now I wonder if that wasn’t just everyone’s way of explaining why I was so different. 

What your about to read will sound made up, but I swear this is what happened;

As I neared the end of the valley road, the trees that had canopied the entire drive opened up like a curtain into a sunny field. The grass was rich and green and the houses that rose up on either side of the streets were large, but not too large. They fit perfectly with the rest of the landscape, just simple cabins in the woods. There were people outside as I pulled down the long road, but I mostly ignored them for now. I was certain I would meet them eventually and right then I wanted to focus on meeting up with Davos Seaworth. 

Davos Seaworth (I know we’ve talked about this before, but bare with me, it bears repeating), is probably one of the nicest men I have ever met. Everything about him screams protective father figure, or kindly uncle. I think my father would have loved him had they had the opportunity to meet. He’s tall, with grey hair and a farmer's tan and the kind of physique that speaks of a man who spent his entire life working for what he has. 

He’s waiting for me outside the common house when I pull up. The common house, which is a beautiful rustic red barn, has been on the property since Davos bought the land decades ago. It’s been restored obviously, the sliding side doors opening up into what could honestly be one of those houses you see online. You know the ones someone saw and said hey, let’s live in this corn silo, or hey, how about we turn this old manufacturing plant into a mansion. Like that, but a lot more humble. 

The barn was two stories and had everything. A communal living space including a pool table, air hockey table, television, enormous dining table and a kitchen that would have made my mother’s kitchen in Winterfell sweat. There were pendant lights hanging from the high ceilings that made the barn glow warm and inviting and the maple wood flooring shined like it had never been walked on before. It made me want to dig out my ballet shoes and take a spin around the floor. 

(Gods, can I even still do that? It’s been so long, just the thought makes my toes hurt.)

The second floor is in the hay loft and encompasses the entire perimeter of the barn. This is where Davos led me once he’d shown me around the common areas, which were empty. I mentioned that to him and he laughed, informing me that most residents tended to stay around their own homes for most of the day and then, depending on their moods, migrated to the common barn around dinner or afterward for dessert. He made sure to reiterate that no one has to interact with anyone else if they don’t want to. It was perfectly reasonable to want your space and plenty of the residents were less social than anyone probably imagined given the way he’d sold the place to me. 

Davos led me up to an office, the only enclosed office space on the second floor. There were other desks and computers around the side and he informed me that they were communal computers, like a library. In fact, there were shelves along an entire wall each one filled with books of all kinds and subjects. I made a note to check them out later, even as Davos joked that all of my books were present on the shelves. I don’t know if he was just teasing about them being the most popular ones going in and out, but I laughed anyway. 

In his office, Davos mostly went over what we had already discussed when I contacted him about buying one of the cabins. Rules, regulations, where I would need to go if I needed this or that, who I would need to talk to for anything specific. It was pretty simple. He explained how the grid worked and all the green technology they utilized to leave as little a footprint as possible. He gave me a key to my cabin, although he mentioned that no one locks their doors except when they head back to the city. He also invited me to a communal dinner that night, something they apparently do whenever they get a new resident. I told him I would be there, and I know what you're thinking, how very polite of you, but the truth is, I actually wanted to go. I didn’t realize it until I got home, but I was looking forward to dinner. It’s been so long since I actually enjoyed meeting new people and experiencing new things that it just kind of snuck up on me. 

My cabin is amazing. It’s a single person cabin built similarly to the barn, but the loft had my bedroom instead of an office. The first floor was open planned with a living room, kitchen and office space. There was a bathroom to the right of the front door just at the bottom of the stairs and directly across from the front door were sliding double glass doors that opened up onto a patio and out into the woods beyond. 

For a moment I just stood there and took everything in. I felt, for the first time in a long time, like I actually belonged there. Even my furniture which had been shipped ahead and delivered the day before looked like it was meant to be there. The black leather matched everything perfectly, like this was the inevitable next step in it’s long life of being sat on. I felt that knot in my chest, which I had done my damndest to ignore since I left my old condo in King’s Landing, loosen considerably. 

“This is it.” I told myself and just like that all the tension, all the nervousness, all the aches and pains that had accumulated over the years just faded away. Maybe I’m being too dramatic, maybe this is one of those sugar pill moments, a placebo effect that I’ve only convinced myself works because I’m so desperate for it to, but… yeah, I just felt… great. 

xXx

**_Excerpt from an interview with Davos Seaworth, transcribed for readers of the Better Homes and Garden magazine;_ **

_ Davos: -When we decided to pack up the farm and regrow the forest that we had clear cut decades before, it wasn’t because we were sick of our lifestyle, or because we had seen some proverbial error in our ways. We had just spent thirty years farming the land and raising cattle and quite honestly, we were ready for something new. The farm was the perfect place to raise our sons, they learned all about hard work and responsibility and they all grew up to be, if I may say so myself, fine men. But the age of private farms is dwindling and we thought it was best to get out and try something else before we were forced out. _

_ Interviewer: Alright, but to go from private farming to commune director, that’s a bit of a leap.  _

_ Davos: Not really, honestly, it wasn’t our intention to start a commune. _

_ Interviewer: How did it come about then? _

_ Davos: Well, our dear friend Stannis Baratheon and his family used to come and visit us a lot. Stannis and I went to University together and we stayed close over the years. I mentioned one night, after Marya and I had told him about our plans to pack up the farm, that land like ours wasn’t just profitable in a monetary sense but also in a spiritual sense. How many times had I told him about the feelings every sunrise evoked, or how the turn of seasons always brought with it a feeling of comfort. He basically told us that we could sell that to other people looking to find the same peace as well. So we did. We replanted the forest, built cabins and fitted the property with new green technology and for the last ten years we’ve had tenants in and out. Some are just looking for a short break from city life, other’s looking for some peace and quiet while they figure out their next steps in life and some, who want to stay. They’re all welcome in StormBreaker Valley.  _

xXx 

**Journal Entry 2:**

Me again, but you already know that, who else would it be. 

Dinner was amazing. I walked to the barn, my cabin only a few yards from it, and the crisp cool autumn air went a long way and in soothing the nerves that had risen up as I was getting ready. I spent most of the day unpacking, getting my furniture organized the way I wanted, getting my office set up so I could start work as soon as inspiration hit, but when I stopped long enough to get showered and changed, I started to feel those nerves again. 

Everyone must have agreed to show up early, because everyone was there when I got there. Davos and his wife Marya greet me at the door. I’ve only spoken to Marya a few times over the phone but she is as pleasant as I remember. They’re all smiles as they lead me into the barn and toward the kitchen and dining area where everyone has congregated. 

Bear with me, because this might get a little messy. There are nine residents other than myself in the commune. (I know I said I hate that word, but I can’t really think of another that fits better). Davos and Marya, who live in the larger cabin away from the others, the house they built decades ago when they first bought this land and used it for farming until about ten years ago. They raised seven sons on this land and the pride as they spoke about it was palpable. They’re both unmarked and more than happy about it. Davos joked about how if they had been marked and not for each other, he would have chased Marya to the ends of the earth anyway. It was sweet and a nice change from the soulmate obsessed world we live in. 

Then there was Lommy, I knew Lommy from those videos that popped up on social media, you know the “You might like this” videos. He’s a content creator who teaches people how to beat the system when it comes to the wasteful and prejudiced fashion industry. He shows people how to alter clothing and how to make their own knock offs or replicate costumes from movies. I’d only seen a few videos and only because my ex-girlfriend was obsessed with him. It was nice to see he was as sweet in real life as he came off in his videos. 

Hot Pie, whose real name was Horus Ponsley, but insisted I call him Hot Pie, was a professional pastry chef who owned several bakeries around the neighboring cities. He was quite happy to hear that I had tried his pastries and asked my opinion on his Northern recipes. I was more than happy to tell him they were the closest I’d come to finding anything even remotely similar to the foods I grew up with. The sparkle of pride in his eyes made me feel like I had just won the lottery or something.

There’s also Weasel, and yes, that is her name, apparently it was something pompous sounding and she legally changed it to spite her family. I had a feeling as soon as she told me that we were going to be very close friends. Weasel is a veterinarian and made herself responsible for tending to the animals kept in the commune so they wouldn’t need to drive in too much in the winter. She was probably the most excited to meet me, apparently being one of only three women there wasn’t ideal for her. She said something about too much testosterone to which Marya and Tysha laughed. 

Tysha was someone I knew as was her husband, Tyrion. I didn’t know them well, but I remembered Tyrion from growing up around my father’s best friend Robert Baratheon. Tyrion was Robert’s brother in law and had removed himself from his abusive family shortly after he met his soulmate Tysha. I had heard stories about how they all just assumed Tysha was manipulating Tyrion for his money and how easy it would have been for a beautiful young girl to convince a man with dwarfism that she loved him. I of course assumed that his sister was just being a bitch about it, which I mean, come on, Cersei Lannister is the queen bitch, is that really such a leap? 

I hadn’t paid much more attention than that, but seeing them together now, it’s more than obvious that Cersei was just jealous that, whom she deemed the defective brother, had been able to marry for love while her own conniving ways had trapped her in a marriage with one of the foulest men Arya had ever met. Being unmarked didn’t have to mean a life of unhappiness, but Cersei seemed determined to make sure it did. 

Tysha is a journalist, freelance. She specialized in crime reporting, something, as you know, I have dabbled in myself. I had read several of her pieces on various high profile cases throughout King’s Landing and we spent a good portion of the evening discussing the merits (read: revulsion) of Ramsay Bolton’s Insanity by Inbreeding defense in his homicide trial. Tyrion, as I remembered correctly, was a prosecutor who turned defense attorney after cutting ties with his family. He commuted in and out of Storm’s End where his practice had a physical office, but he mostly worked from home. 

That just left the last two residents-

**Journal Entry 2 Part 2:**

Sorry, I just needed a moment, or twelve. It’s two in the morning and I managed to crank out the last of my first draft, which officially means I have no other excuse to put off the rest of this entry. Whatever, I’m not sure how I’m going to write this down, if I even can, I mean look at it now, I’m just rambling instead of getting to the point... And now I’m rambling about rambling. 

Look, I know I’m going through all of this is an attempt to reclaim myself, that part of me that used to take life by the horns and make it work for me. I miss that desire for adventure, the drive to accomplish something for the sheer pride in it and not because it was part of some humdrum cycle I had fallen into. But this isn’t easy. I never expected it to be, of course, nothing worth attaining is easy in the simple sense, but-

**Journal Entry 2 Part 3 (or is it entry 3?):**

I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a hike. There’s a trail right behind my cabin that leads up into the mountains around the valley. The need to reclaim my life has never been more obvious. There was a time I could and would walk, run, bike, anywhere and everywhere. I was fit and strong and in peak physical condition. Today I walked a mile into the woods and felt like dying. I was out of breath after the first hill and ready to turn back by the time the sun had completely risen. You told me to set micro goals to accomplish while I work on the bigger ones so here we are, Micro goal one, get back into shape. I don’t think it’ll be too difficult, it’s not like I’m a slob or anything. I still eat well, still work out sporadically, so I think this is a micro goal I can handle fairly well. 

Now I’m back in my cabin, freshly showered, cup of coffee beside me at my desk and… I suppose it’s time I told you what I couldn’t last night. 

Gendry Waters is a blacksmith. I didn’t even know that was still a thing outside of renaissance fairs. I figured everything was made in factories now, but no, he makes it himself, even has a forge behind his cabin. He’s ridiculously tall, over six feet easy, with jet black hair and deep ocean blue eyes. He’s got some scruff, giving him that rugged mountain man look and he smiles like he’s had to teach himself how, shy, but earnest. He’s handsome in a way most people wished they could be. 

His soulmate Podrick Payne is just as handsome. He’s not nearly as tall as Gendry but he is tall, just at six feet I’d guess. He’s got dark hair and eyes and when he smiles at you, you can see he means it. Dad would have called him a natural born salesman. Instead he became a musician, composing a library of music that can be heard in almost every major summer blockbuster since 2007. 

They moved out here separately, Podrick first, and realized at the regular dinner meet and greet that they were soulmates. They got to know each other over the next few months and ended up moving into one of the double tennant cabins, leaving their singles open, one of which is now mine. 

I know what you're thinking. Why would any of this be hard to write down? Well, it doesn’t end there. 

Podrick and Gendry came up to greet me together. Davos introduced them and Gendry stuck out his hand without saying anything. I got the feeling throughout the night that he wasn’t a social guy in the slightest. Podrick however, was very social. 

I said “Hello”, of course and then turned to Podrick.

“Don’t mind him, he’s still learning to be human.” he says to me as he extends his own hand. Sound familiar? It should, cause it’s what’s tattooed on my fucking ribs in tight messy scrawling. 

I froze. I spent years of my childhood coming up with catchy, memorable greetings for the day I met my soulmates, something that could never be mistaken for anything else and every single one of them flew out of my head in that moment. So of course my body defaulted to the usual sarcasm. FML. 

“Aren’t we all.” I replied and it seemed to take Podrick a moment to realize what I said, but Gendry, Gendry knew immediately. It was almost as if he had been waiting for it. And then, thinking about that, I realized my first words to Gendry had been “Hello” fucking hello!? Are you kidding me. In a world where the first words you say to your soulmate appear on your body at puberty, the first fucking thing I say to my potential soulmate is “Hello”? 

In a subdued excitement Gendry said; “It’s true then, it is you.” 

I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but growing up my words had a way of exciting me one minute and depressing me the next. On good days, usually days I hadn’t had to interact with my sister or her friends, I was excited by the idea that my words could mean one of my soulmates was hoping I was theirs. On bad days, the words sounded like an accusation, like they were handed some bad news and were trying to reconcile how they got stuck with a horsey faced little tom boy who didn’t fit in anywhere. 

Hearing Gendry so excited felt like I wasn’t sure how to react. It wasn’t either of those things though, it was more like he had won a bet than anything else. The idea wasn’t awful, we were all caught off guard, but that little voice in my head, the one we’ve been working so hard on burying, jumped out at me in a moment of weakness and I had to struggle to beat it back down long enough to get through the evening. 

We talked a bit, but there wasn’t any pressure to keep up any conversation, not with everyone else around and after dinner I begged off, saying I was tired. I was loaded up with leftovers on my way out and I sent a quick glance toward Gendry and Podrick to see they seemed to be arguing over something. I learned to read lips when I was a kid, but all I caught was “her” and “home”. I can infer they meant to walk me home, but I got out of there too quickly for them to offer. I’ve been locked up inside and avoiding people ever since. 

I know, this is the exact opposite of what we talked about. Facing things head on instead of just walking away or pretending not to notice, but… I’m not walking away. I’m not pretending I didn’t notice. I’m processing. Big difference.


	2. Living On A Prayer

Life In Pieces

Chapter 2: Living On A Prayer 

xXx

**Journal Entry 3(4?):**

I know you said the numbers don’t matter, but they matter to me. I like things neat, another thing that’s changed over the years. I remember living in such chaos. Four brothers and sisters, each of us with a giant hound to call our own. The fact that we lived on a ranch didn’t seem to matter, we were always stepping over each other. Some days it was the greatest and others I wished I hadn’t been born. Overall I think it was a pretty great way to grow up and despite the hard time I wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

Besides, how can anyone complain about growing up like I did. Yes, growing up wealthy doesn’t invalidate my issues, but it certainly didn’t hurt them… I don’t think anyway. I mean I’m sure if I had grown up in a big family living paycheck to paycheck I would probably still be in Winterfell struggling to make ends meet, but at least with a trust fund I could afford to take the chances I did. And my parents could afford to give me the room to explore. 

Anyway, after my hike this morning I got some more writing done on an unrelated project and got a phone call from the Storm’s End office of my publisher. They want to meet in person once my editor reads through the rough draft. I’m sure he’ll have plenty of revisions. He always does, but at least it’s finished now. Nothing more to stress about until editing is finished and I have to drive the ninety minutes into the city for the meeting which isn’t for two weeks. 

That gives me plenty of time to get unpacked and settled in. Honestly, I'm really glad I came here. I know it’s only been a day, but I feel so much better here. There’s still plenty to do and learn and the whole Soulmate thing to worry about but all in all, I think everything is going to be okay. 

I-

**Journal Entry 3(4?) Part 2:**

Sorry, someone was at the door. It was Marya, inviting me to join her at the common barn for a cooking class with Hot Pie. I turned her down, not because I didn’t want to go, but because I got a new idea as I was talking to her and I needed to write it down. I got a good chunk of it fleshed out and once I settle on where to put it I can send it in as an addendum to my editor. I told her I would go to the next one though. I kind of wanted to go to this one, but I knew if I didn’t get the idea out I wouldn’t be able to pay attention to Hot Pie at all. Marya said she understood and that she would come and get me for the next lesson. We also made plans to go on a hike. She had apparently seen me leave that morning and asked if I wanted to join her to watch the sunset this evening before dinner. Of course I said yes, I didn’t get to watch the sunset last night because I got caught up with work so I’m looking forward to seeing it this evening

Anyway, I think I’m going to spend the rest of the day unpacking and getting the house done. Then I can worry about everything else. 

xXx

**Journal Entry 4 (Alright, I’ve settled on a number sequence):**

Dinner with the Seaworth’s was amazing. Marya is an amazing cook, I have no idea why she would think she would need to sit in on Hot Pie’s lessons. She made a ham and potato soup that put my mother’s to shame and she served them in cheesy bread bowls. It was perfect after a long hike in the cool autumn evening. She even made the bread from scratch. I’ve always loved to cook, but I don’t think I could ever be as good as her. 

We talked about everything. They told me their story, how they met one evening at a local festival and it was love at first sight. They told me all about their sons and what they’re doing and where they moved. I loved hearing about their transition from farm to green Eco commune and the fun little stories that I remember from growing up on a ranch myself. My family didn’t do much of the work ourselves, but I spent every chance I could out in the pastures, watching the ranch hands and learning from the workers my mother hired to keep the ranch running while my father was busy running the books and she was busy making everyone believe her parents weren’t right about marrying down. It didn’t matter that the Starks were wealthier, more successful than the Tully’s it was about the way that money was made. 

I suppose that doesn’t matter now. 

At some point Davos apologized for taking up so much time talking about themselves, but honestly, I loved it. They had lived such a nice, peaceful life and hearing about it was just another aspect of this place that makes it that much better. 

They asked me about myself. More than they had when we first met when I enquired about the cabin. I had told them about growing up on a ranch, and I found myself telling them all about it. The horses and the cattle and how much I loved being out on the land instead of in the house acting like a lady for my mother’s friends. Marya looked on with sympathy, like she understood that desire to not be forced to be someone you weren’t. Maybe she did. I’ve seen the way she walks, heard the way she talks, the way she holds herself. It’s the same way I find myself walking, talking and holding myself. It speaks of a life of comfort and high expectations. 

I mostly talk about my dad, how he grew up working the land and raising the cattle himself alongside his brothers and sister. I don’t mention that he slowly stopped, leaving the work to the hired hands after he married my mother. At least that’s what Aunt Lyanna used to tell me when she’d come out to the stables to find me pestering the hands to teach me. She wouldn’t say anything disparaging about my mother, not to my face anyway, but as I got older I started to understand the looks my aunt would give her behind her back. Catelyn Tully-Stark had no problem reaping the benefits of hard work without actually doing any of it. 

But you already knew that, how many times have we talked about my mother and her aversion to all things strenuous. I know you said I shouldn’t think about her in a way that demonizes a version of a woman I’ve never met, but I can’t help but imagine a young twenty something socialite moving to a multi million dollar ranching operation in the North, an operation that kept forty five percent of the region employed in various ways and thinking, what a waste of time. I can just imagine her, with that severe look, looking down on my uncles and my aunt, looking down on my grandfather for doing the work alongside their employees instead of sitting on some bejeweled throne dictating orders and reaping the rewards. I can just hear her with that snotty tone she uses to retort to anyone who manages to one up her, “This is why the Baratheons were Kings and the Starks were only lords.” as if the Tullys had ever been kings and not the people who only married them. 

I suddenly pictured Marya in my mother’s place. Coming from a wealthy family, but still being so humble, falling in love with a man who loved the land and the hard work it took to see it flourish. I nearly laughed at the picture of my mother with her hands in the dirt. It takes me a moment to avoid laughing out loud but I managed it. 

The conversation eventually turns to Gendry and Podrick and I’m not entirely sure I want it to go there. I don’t change the subject, because you’ve told me to work on that, to confront uncomfortable topics instead of running from them, but I think this might be the exception to your rule. 

Davos asks if we’ve had the chance to talk yet, and I told him that I hadn’t spoken to either of them since dinner the night before. Neither of them ask why, but the concern in their eyes is telling. They care about them and they don’t want to see them hurt. Quite frankly I don’t want to hurt them. They seem nice, I don’t really know them but people like Davos and Marya know people and if they care about them as much as they seem they must be nice. 

Marya then asks in the most delicate way possible in a situation like this, if I’m the type of person who’s waited her whole life to find her soulmates, or the kind of person who believes anything that’s meant to be will happen eventually. There was a third option of course, but I don’t think either of them wanted to know if that was a viable one. It wasn’t of course, I know I’m a little harsh sometimes, I certainly didn’t give the impression growing up, scoffing at my sisters ideas of romance and prince charming, that I gave a damn about soulmates, but the truth was, I cherished my marks. They meant and still mean so much to me. To someone who was made to feel less for being different by someone who was supposed to love you, having not one but two people who were meant to love you despite your flaws was… the greatest thing someone like me could ask for. 

Okay, confession time. Ever since last night I’ve had a driving need to find them, to go talk to them, to see them, anything. I just… I want to know what could happen. I want to know if Gendry’s excitement last night was because he was right about me (and for that matter, how would he even consider that it could be me without even knowing me) or because he’s been looking forward to meeting his second soulmate for a long time. And Podrick, he didn’t say much to me after that initial introduction, but I did catch him watching me throughout the night. I want to know why. Was he nervous, or disappointed. Or, the painful third option, was he angry that I had shown up to potentially mess up their dynamic. 

The unknowns were killing me, so when Marya asked I lied. I made up a fourth option. I told her I was happy to have met them, but what happened next would be up to them. 

Maybe she heard some kind of insecurity in my voice, maybe she saw the uncertainty on my face, maybe she even felt the nervousness that roiled through me whenever I thought about them, but she looked… not sad… worried maybe. Worried for me? I don’t know. I’m usually so good at reading people. I don’t know what’s wrong with me now. Probably too much emotional turmoil. I’ll have to work on that I guess. 

Just add it to the list.

xXx

**_A transcript from a recording unintentionally made by Gendry Waters and Podrick Payne in Podrick’s home recording studio._ **

Gendry: We should go over there and invite her to dinner or something. Maybe, I don’t know, bring her a welcoming gift.

Podrick: What kind of welcoming gift? (Transcriptionist notes that Podrick sounds distracted. There’s the sound of instruments being moved and tuned.)

Gendry: I don’t know. Something. Maybe we could ask Hot Pie to bake something for her and take it over.

Podrick: Hmm, I think that kind of defeats the purpose of it being from us then. 

(Transcriptionist notes there’s a long pause. Instruments continue to be tuned and there’s a distinct thin metallic sound that might be a slinky.) 

Gendry: What about labor?

Podrick: Labor?

Gendry: Sure, we go over and offer to help move furniture or hang things. 

Podrick: (Amused) Not very PC of you, babe. 

Gendry: (Frustrated) I don’t know what else to do, I don’t want to just… 

Podrick: What? Walk up to her and be forward about it?

Gendry:... Well when you put it like that it sounds stupid.

Podrick: (Chuckling) You need to relax, it’s not the end of the world if you're a little awkward around her. (sigh) Look, you’ve been convinced she’s our soulmate for months now. You’ve read all of her books, watched her interviews online, even subscribed to her website. You know what she likes, why don’t you make her something in the shop? 

(Transcriptionist notes another long pause.)

Gendry: You don’t seem… happy about all of this.

(Transcription notes the musical instruments stop within another long pause)

Podrick: I’m very happy, mate, she’s my soulmate too.

Gendry: So why are you so apathetic?

Podrick: (Sighing) I’m not apathetic, I’m cautious. I don’t want to burst your bubble love, but she… didn’t seem all that happy about meeting us last night. 

Gendry: She was just caught off guard, probably tired from the drive. 

Podrick: You think so? 

Gendry:... yes… I do. 

Podrick: Okay, we’ll figure it out then. 

(Transcriptionist notes someone moving around then sounds that have been redacted)

Podrick: Shit.

Gendry: What’s wrong? 

Podrick: I was still recording. 

Gendry: (Laughing) Don’t erase it before we listen to it. 

Podrick: (Laughs)


	3. Unlovable?

Life In Pieces

Chapter 3: Unlovable?

xXx

**An excerpt from the diary of Arya Stark, 13:**

Sansa says I’m too ugly and too stupid to be loved. Is that true? I know I can be difficult, at least that’s what mum says. Jon says she’s just jealous that she only has one soulmate and I have two, but why would she be jealous of that? I wish she would stop being jealous. I want my sister back. She used to like me, I don’t know what I did wrong. I wish she would tell me so I could fix it. 

xXx

**Journal Entry 5:**

I did it! I talked to them! Well, technically they talked to me. I was working in my office (Okay, not working, I was looking for a new bed frame online) when there was a knock on the door. I got up to answer it and there they were, blocking the scenery behind them with their big broad shoulders and bulging… Sorry, focus. 

Anyway, so there was the awkward standard, hey, we aren’t just potential friends greeting before my brain caught up with me and I invited them in. They did the cursory look around, but they looked a little upset by something, which I later realized was because they had come over specifically to offer help in unpacking. I’m trying really hard not to think about how cute it is that they came up with an excuse to see me. That would just be  _ way  _ too sappy. But it is. Cute I mean.

They told me they had come to offer to help me unpack and move furniture and I made a joke about how they were a few hours too late. All the boxes were unpacked and I’d already broken the bed trying to move it myself. I laughed, but they looked worried about it so I brushed it off as best I could, telling them that I was already looking for a new frame and the old one would hold until it got here. Thankfully I was able to hold back a joke about not doing anything too strenuous on it until then. I can only just imagine the mortification of that implication.

Podrick then explained that it takes twice as long for large packages to reach us and if I wanted to give it a try, Gendry was handy with a hammer. I think he was trying to extend their visit, something that wouldn’t turn into awkward silence, so I said yes, because quite frankly I wanted them to stay. How long has it been since I wanted anyone to stay?

I led them upstairs. My bed is a king sized bed, why, because I like my space, I always have. I think they both might have been picturing a few things involving the bed, because even in the low light of the loft I could tell they were both a little too flushed for the not so strenuous walk up the stairs. 

I sent a little thank you to the old gods that I had picked up after myself that morning and then showed Gendry where the problem was. He immediately got down on the floor and slid under the edge of the bed, using his cell phone flashlight to see the damage I had done. I tried really hard not to stare at his navel as his long sleeved t-shirt rode up, but it was difficult not to. He’s built like a fucking tank, you can see that just from looking at him, seeing his abs didn’t help the lustful thoughts I had started having on and off since meeting them both. A little part of me hoped he would ask Podrick for a hand so he would have an excuse to get down there with him. 

Gods it’s been too long. I tried not to stare, I really did, but I’m pretty sure I licked my lips at one point. I just hope Podrick didn’t notice. 

Anyway, Gendry said it was an easy fix and not to waste money on a new one unless I really wanted one. I told him I didn’t, that I had only just bought this one a few months before moving here and he assured me he could fix it. He ran off back to his workshop to pick up a few things, leaving Podrick behind. 

When it was just the two of us, things got a little awkward. I wasn’t really sure what to say and all the standard get to know you questions had been answered at the communal dinner a few nights earlier. Thankfully, Podrick seemed to come prepared. 

“So, working on anything new?” he asks as he loiters around the kitchen behind me. At some point I snapped out of it long enough to offer him some coffee, which he gladly accepted. 

“Yeah, actually, a new thriller. I just sent the first draft off to my editor yesterday.” I told him. I finished up the coffee and handed him the cup. 

“Gendry’ll be excited to hear it.” 

“Really?” I asked. 

“Oh yeah, he’s a huge fan, read all your books in the last few months. It’s funny he wasn’t much of a reader until he picked up Northern Bound. He’s torn through all of them ever since.”

I was sure I was blushing, my whole face felt like it was on fire. It's not the first time someone has admitted to binging my books, but hearing it from one of my soulmates is something else all together. The surprise wasn’t over though, because Podrick had more to say. 

“That’s uh… that’s how he suspected you might be our soulmate.” 

Well that was unexpected. How would any of my books give either of them the impression that I was their third. I don’t talk about soulmates that much, if ever. All of my books are mysteries or thrillers either set in the real world or a fantasy land. In fact, a good portion of my books happen in a world where there are no soulmates. 

“When you first met with Davos and Marya about buying this place, you signed a copy of her favorite book for her. She was so proud she was showing it around to anyone who would listen. Gendry saw the little note you wrote her and recognized your handwriting.”

Well that certainly explains it. I mean, soulmarks are in the handwriting of your soulmate. That’s one of the things that makes them so intimate. 

“Well that would explain why he was so excited. He was right.” I chuckled, trying to brush off the unfounded feeling of rejection.

Podrick looked hesitant at first before saying; “That’s not the only reason.” he fiddled with his coffee cup, not looking up at me as he continued. “We were both excited to meet you. We’ve… been waiting for you for a long time.” 

I know you said that I need to stop disappointing myself, that I need to stop building things up to a reasonable degree and then talking myself into believing it’s not reasonable and it’s all going to fall apart, but… when he said that, a small part of me was waiting for the take back. A small part of me was waiting to hear the chuckle turned into laughter, letting me know that I had been right all along, that I wasn’t good enough for anyone and that I was so unworthy of them it was more fun to mess with me than to just be gracious about it. 

But that didn’t happen. Gendry walked back in with a big red metal toolbox and a short plank of wood under his arm and we never got back around to the conversation for me to answer. I don’t even know what I would have said. What do you even say to something like that. “I’ve been waiting for you too.” “You’re all I’ve ever wanted in life, no matter how much I pretend soulmates aren’t the be all and end all people say they are.” “You’re living proof I’m not unlovable.” 

Rereading this, I’m thinking that the first one would probably be the best option, I mean, those others are a little heavy for a first confession situation. Can you imagine, just dumping that on someone, someone you just met. Soulmate or not, that’s a lot to burden someone with. But I guess that’s to be expected from someone whose baggage comes in a full matching designer set. 

I hope that’s not a deal breaker, because we managed to talk about a few things while Gendry worked. Simple things, hobbies and interests and work and… well, I know it’s a little early, but I really like them. I don’t want to mess this up. 

xXx

**Excerpt from a video recorded on Podrick Payne’s phone.**

The video shows Podrick’s face close up in the frame, most of his face out of it. It shakes a bit as he walks and it grows considerably more shaky as he plops down on the sofa. Gendry appears on the other side of the frame as Podrick sits, a book on his knee as he takes a drink from a mug. With the mug still to his lips he looks up at the camera.

“What are you doing?” Gendry asks, setting his mug on the end table. 

“My new phone came in the mail today.” Podrick explains. Gendry looks uninterested, but hums and nods, turning back to his book. 

“So listen.” Podrick begins after a moment. Gendry doesn’t look up. “There’s something I think you should know.” 

“What’s that?” 

“Well, I don’t want you to get your hopes up but… I think you can start getting your hopes up about Arya.” Podrick is grinning, rather proud of himself from the looks of it. Gendry finally looks up.

“And why is that?” he asks, seemingly ignoring Podrick’s grin. 

“She was definitely checking you out this afternoon.” 

That peaks Gendry’s interest. “What makes you think that?”

“I saw her, babe, she was definitely enjoying the view.” 

“What was there to look at, I was just laying on the floor.”

“Speaking from experience there’s plenty to look at, but specifically, your shirt was riding up.” Podrick explains, grinning as he watches Gendry’s face flush on the screen. 

After a moment the smile fades a bit, and he puts the phone down. It appears he’s made a motion to turn the camera off, but it continues to record the image of the high log ceilings and pendant lights, overlaid with their voices.

“What’s wrong?” Gendry asks. It takes a moment for Podrick to answer. 

“Is there… have you read anything about her past relationships?” He asks. 

“Not really. She keeps everything like that on her private social media and I didn’t want to intrude.” Gendry explains. “Why?”

“It’s just, we talked a little after you left to get your tool box and… I mentioned how you like her books and that you started reading them after you recognized her handwriting in Marya’s. She made a joke about you being excited because you were right and I told her that we were both excited just to find her.”

“Did she not take it well? You told me I could get my hopes up, so it couldn’t have been that bad.”

“She didn’t react badly or anything like that, she just looked a little scared.” 

“Too much too soon?” 

“Maybe, I think maybe we should have her over for dinner one night. Talk the way you and I did when we first met.” 

“Sounds good to me, better to know where we stand than to keep second guessing ourselves.” 


	4. Old Wounds

Living

Chapter 4: Old Wounds 

xXx

**Journal Entry 6:**

We ended our remote session a little too soon, doc. Just a few more minutes and I would have had a plausible excuse not to answer the phone. But that would be avoiding wouldn’t it? 

My mother called to answer your unspoken question. Gods, how long has it been since we’ve talked? Two years? Three? Five? I don’t even know anymore. It’s not like I’ve stopped talking to the whole family after all. Jon and Aunt Lyanna, Uncle Benjen and Brandon. Even uncle Edmure makes sure to call every once and awhile. But my mother, well, she holds on to grudges like she could win some kind of award for how well she files them away for later. And let’s be honest, given the way I unburdened myself on the way out, she has plenty filed away. So, of course, I was on edge the entire conversation, waiting for the bomb to drop, for the moment she told me she found the perfect way to punish me for having the audacity to have a limit on how much I would put up with just because we’re family. 

But it never came. She said she only called to check in. She said she heard from Stannis’ wife that I had been planning to move down here and “she must be there already”. She wanted to know what it was like and if I liked it. I told her that it was beautiful and I loved it and then because I couldn’t seem to to help myself, I told her it reminded me of home. Not Winterfell, I called it home. There was a moment of silence where I thought, “here it comes, the other shoe”, but again it never came. She almost sounded sad when she said she was glad to hear I was doing so well. 

I started to get scared that something was wrong, so I asked her how she was doing, how everyone else was doing. And here comes the ulterior motive, not quite the other shoe, but a much more believable reason for her call then “Just checking in”. Apparently Sansa met her soulmate who, after discovering who she was, promptly explained she wanted nothing to do with her. I asked why, because of course I had to know even though I suppose it’s none of my business anymore. I wasn’t expecting an answer really. Mom’s the perfect society gossip. Everyone else’s business is her business, but her, and by proxy her family’s business is no one else’s business. 

She told me what happened though, because, and I quote; “Families don’t have secrets”. Gag me. Apparently Sansa’s soulmate is Margaery Tyrell, you know the heiress to the Tyrell cosmetic company. I met her once, briefly at a fundraiser and she was the nicest person, she actually seemed to care about the cause unlike most of the socialites who were only there to pose for pictures for the magazines. Well, Margaery met Sansa at a party in King’s Landing for Cersei’s birthday. There was someone there that Sansa and Jeyne had tormented growing up (surprise surprise, I wasn’t their only punching bag), someone who worked for the Tyrells and whom Margaery had become close friends with. 

So I guess what happened was Margaery and Sansa met, talked, hit it off and then somehow Margaery realized Sansa was the same girl who tormented her friend. So basically she told Sansa she didn’t want anything to do with someone like her and walked away. And I know what you're thinking, why would Margaery just assume Sansa was the same person she was growing up. Well, she had heard the snide comments about Sansa from other guests throughout the night, little things here and there that she didn’t connect to her until it was too late. I guess all those people you tormented as kids will eventually grow up and realize they aren’t the problem, you are. I know that’s what happened with me. 

Anyway, Sansa was devastated. She wouldn’t talk to anyone for days, locked herself up in her room. She went from one extreme reaction to the next. She spent her whole life waiting for her prince charming, and then when she realized men weren’t really her taste, her princess, but in the end she realized she wasn’t another princess, she was the wicked stepsister all along. 

Wow, that was a bit dramatic, but I won’t lie, a little part of me is just a bit too gleeful at the prospect of perfect Sansa getting shoved off her high horse and by her soulmate no less. I promise I’m not jumping for joy or anything, but I’m not going to pretend to feel bad for her. She’s always believed in karma, ironically she’s facing it head on now. 

Here’s the thing though, my mother didn’t just call to gossip. She actually had something to tell me and wasn’t sure how to do it until I asked about everyone. After a lot of ups and downs over the six months following Sansa’s meeting with Margaery, Jon finally blew his lid, so to speak. She was on a low and moping around at a family gathering and he just exploded. He told her to get over herself and this is what she got for always being a high and mighty bitch to everyone. Acting like she was better, just like her mother.

Yeah, mom confirmed he had actually said that. It started a whole argument, my aunt got involved, my younger brothers and within an hour the whole family had to drag themselves apart before fists were thrown. 

I miss all the good stuff. 

At some point since this happened, Sansa decided that if all these people really did think so badly of her, then maybe I had been right all along. Amazing how that works, one person, your own sister tells you you're a snobby heartless cunt to your face and you brush her off as an overdramatic bitch who just wants to play the victim, but a bunch of people you barely remember, your soulmate and your cousin tell you the same thing and suddenly it must be true. But I’m not bitter or anything. No, the point is the changing, not the reason. Right? 

Whatever, the whole point of my mother’s call was to tell me that Sansa had started going to therapy a few months ago and to ask if maybe I would like to come home for the holidays. I said I would think about it, I mean it’s not as if Sansa is the only problem that made me snap, but… I won't lie, when she asked, I really wanted to just say yes. To forget everything and go home, pretend it was all better. But it’s not, not even close, so I said I would think about it and pretended not to notice how disappointed she sounded by my answer. 

xXx

**An excerpt from the transcribed session between Dr. Edward Gilcrest and Sansa Stark:**

Gilcrest: So, last time we talked we discussed you getting in touch with your sister. Opening up that line of communication and trying to get to know her properly. How did that work out?

Sansa: Not so well, honestly, at least not in the way you wanted me to do it. I just… I couldn’t work up the nerve to call her. I’m not even sure she would answer the phone if I did.

Gilcrest: So what did you do instead?

Sansa:... After Arya went off on everyone, my mum was really hurt, you could see it in her eyes, it was the same look she got after she read my grandfather’s letter to my father before they married. The one where he told her my dad she was _ “pretty to look at, but not much use”. _ Anyway, after that, my mum went up and locked up Arya’s bedroom with all the things she hadn’t taken with her inside. Arya was so sure she would make it on her own that she only took what she absolutely needed, so there was a lot left over. 

I remember Arya keeping a diary growing up, she’s always loved to write, so I suppose it really wasn’t a surprise, or shouldn’t have been, that she did make it on her own. (sigh) I went up to her room while my mother was out and went through her things, searching for her diary. I figured if I couldn’t work up the courage to call her, maybe I could get to know the sister I shunned.

Gilcrest: Did you find them?

Sansa: I found a lot of stuff. She’s always been a talented writer apparently.

Gilcrest: But did you find her diary?

(Transcriptionist notes a long pause. Nearly five minutes.)

Sansa: Yes.

Gilcrest: And? Did you learn anything about your sister? 

Sansa: Yes.

Gilcrest: What did you learn?

(Transcriptionist notes that Sansa sounds as though she is on the verge of tears).

Sansa: That it’s a miracle she didn’t try to kill me in my sleep. (sniffling) I was awful to her. I said so many horrible things. (sobbing) Every page I read was just paragraph after paragraph of awful things I had said to her like she was trying to get rid of them by writing them down but… she couldn’t, because even the pages that weren’t about what I had said or done, were still soaked through with all the insecurities I stoked in her, all the awful things I made her think were true about herself. 

(Transcriptionist notes ten minutes of open sobbing)

Sansa: (Sniffling) There’s one passage I can’t stop thinking about, I must have read it a dozen times.  _ “I want my sister back. She used to like me, I don’t know what I did wrong. I wish she would tell me so I could fix it.”  _

Gilcrest: What do you think she did wrong?

Sansa: Nothing, she didn’t do anything. I don’t know what changed. We were close when we were little, she followed me everywhere and I loved that, she was like my own little mini me, we used to have so much fun playing games. She used to make up the best stories for us to act out. (sigh) I don’t know why I suddenly decided that wasn’t good enough. 

xXx

**Journal Entry 7:**

Alright, here’s a short one for you tonight. Gendry came over just a few minutes ago to invite me to dinner. It’s really just that simple. He knocked, I answered, I invited him in, which he turned down, saying something about needing to get to the barn to fix something, (I guess he acts like a village handyman from time to time), and then said he just stopped by to invite me to dinner the next night. He went on to say something along the lines of wanting to have a proper conversation and how they wanted to get to know me if I was interested in the same. Of course I am and I said as much, which seemed to relax him a bit. He’d been a little stiff standing in the doorway, like he was nervous or something. Glad to know I wasn’t the only one. 

So I agreed to meet them at their house the next night and he left to go back to work. And that’s it, that’s the whole thing. I’m practically vibrating in my seat, I couldn’t be more excited. I’m not going to let my nerves get the best of me, this is a good thing. 


	5. Getting to Know You, Getting to Know All About You

Life In Pieces

Chapter 5: Getting To Know You, Getting To Know All About You

xXx 

**A letter from Shireen Baratheon to Gendry Waters:**

Dear Gendry,

It’s been way too long since we last talked, but I have good news. Dad has been talking about visiting Uncle Davos and Aunt Marya soon, which means we’ll get to see you too. Dad’s pretty happy about that I think. He hasn’t said it outright, but he keeps bringing you up in conversation, which is his way of saying your on his mind. I can’t wait to see you, cuz, there’s so much I want to tell you. I realize I could write it down here, but I really want to tell you in person. 

How’s Podrick doing? I listened to the latest soundtrack and as always it is magical. Tell him I said hello and that I’m looking forward to seeing him as well. 

Love,

Shireen

P.S. Sorry my letter isn’t very long, I’ve been spending most of my time on school work and applying for University, but I promise as soon as I see you in person you won’t be able to get rid of me. 

**A letter from Gendry Waters to Shireen Baratheon:**

Dear Shireen, 

It’s always good to hear from you, I’m glad to hear you're coming for a visit, it’s always nice to see you and certainly nice to see your parents. Podrick sends his love and is also looking forward to seeing you. He says he’s glad you like the music and when you get here you can hang out with him in the studio and give him your opinion on the piece he’s currently working on. Something for that superhero movie that comes out next summer. 

Things here are going well, we’re getting a new resident soon, Arya Stark, that novelist who writes a lot of mystery and thrillers. I’ve never read any of her work, but Marya loves her, she’s so excited at the prospect of her living so close. 

Never apologize for putting school first. Gods know I could have stood to put school first once upon a time. I look forward to seeing you and can’t imagine a situation in which I would want to be rid of you. 

-Gendry 

**A Letter from Shireen Baratheon to Gendry Waters:**

Dear Gendry,

I know all about Arya, her father was best friends with Uncle Robert, (he couldn’t be more opposite of Robert though) so we have met a time or two, although that was back before she had been published. She’s good people, humble and kind, not at all like her sister, though you didn’t hear that from me. 

I know you don’t like to read much, but I highly recommend her books. They’ve got everything you could want in the genre and then some. She’s got an eye for details and such an amazing imagination. If you're interested I’ll bring a few of my copies down for you to try. Dad has confirmed we’ll be there for the harvest festival. 

Love, 

Shireen

**A letter from Gendry Waters to Shireen Baratheon:**

Dear Shireen,

Glad to hear you’ll be here for the festival, you can keep Podrick’s inner child under control then. You know how he gets around the festival concessions. 

I wouldn’t mind giving her books a try, especially if we’re going to be neighbors. At the very least I can say I tried to read them. Marya and Davos are going into the city to meet her for lunch this weekend and Marya couldn’t be more excited. She’s been gushing about it ever since they set the meeting. Maybe I’ll ask to borrow a book from Marya and try that first. If she’s as nice as you say, I can’t imagine her books are all that scary. 

Looking forward to seeing all of you soon. Let me know if you still need that reference letter, Podrick said he’d be happy to write one for you. 

-Gendry

xXx

**Journal Entry 8:**

Do you think it’s weird that I stressed over what to wear? I mean, okay, maybe not weird, but unnecessary? I don’t know, but I did. I went back and forth for what felt like hours, just standing there in my bathrobe trying to decide between dressing casual or looking like I was trying to seduce them. I don’t know why those are the only two options in my closet. Scratch that, there are three options, Casual, seductress and uptight librarian (which, on a side note could be fun if this relationship progresses accordingly). 

Anyway, eventually I came out of panic long enough to remember a famous fashion guru lived down the road from me and I shot him a text, sparing only a second to worry I was overstepping, before remembering he had insisted I text him anytime I needed anything of any kind. His answer was to show up at my door with a bag of makeup and a sweater that was stunning. 

“You can absolutely be both, especially with your figure.” he told me, pulling a pair of dark wash jeans out of the closet. I hadn’t worn them in awhile, mostly because they were so tight and form fitting, but Lommy assured me that was the point. I put them on and the black off the shoulder sweater he brought over and when I came back out he had all his makeup spread out on my vanity. 

“You don’t need a lot. You’ve got that cute baby face we would all kill for, but it never hurts to accentuate a bit.” he said, holding up lipstick tubes to my cheek. When all that was done he asked me how well I could walk in heels. I wasn’t a runway model by any stretch of the imagination, but I could certainly handle them. So then he thrust a pair of chunky platforms at me and told me to put them on. I have to admit, I looked pretty good. So good in fact I felt my nerves slip away as he draped my black wool shawl over my shoulders and walked me out the front door. He walked me to the cross roads (pumping me up the whole way), where I needed to turn left to get to Gendry and Podrick’s cabin. He wished me luck as he went right back to his own cabin.

Gendry opened the door when I knocked. It took me a minute to gather the wits to speak. He looked so good in his own dark washed jeans and button up shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows (hng) his muscular arms and the intricate tattoo up his left forearm on display (double hng), and his usually shaggy black hair was flipped to the side, looking neat and stylish. I had on several occasions in the last few days, imagined what it would be like to run my fingers through it and I felt that urge even stronger now. 

“Hi.” he said, snapping me out of my daze. I looked up to meet his eyes, only to find them looking unfocused as they stared back at me. I hope that’s as good a sign as I think it might be. He steps aside to let me in and the house smells amazing. I can feel my stomach rumble in agreement. 

I spot the coat tree by the door and slip my shawl off, turning to hang it up. When I turn back, Gendry is staring at me and it takes a moment to realize he was looking at the wolf tattoo on my shoulder blade. So, I take the initiative. 

“Who did yours?” I asked, gesturing to his forearm sleeve. I have no idea if it's a full sleeve, but it’s absolutely beautiful. Intricate lines, both robust and delicate, swirling around the silhouette of a bull. The longer I look at it the more details I notice, like the delicate lilies along one line and the war hammer along another. There’s even a guitar mixed in with a line of musical notes. 

“Sandor Cleagan in Flea Bottom.” he replies a little bashfully. I felt the grin break over my face before I could stop it. 

“Me too.” I tell him. He looks pleasantly surprised by the revelation. “He was such an asshole, but he does good work, I won’t let anyone else ink me.” I told him. 

That glazed look returns to his eyes as he agrees and I catch his eyes darting around my body, like he’s trying to see my other tattoos through my clothes. I smile to myself. If all goes well he’ll get to see for himself soon enough. 

Gendry turns and leads me into the kitchen where Podrick is pouring wine into three glasses. He’s wearing black jeans and a grey sweater, his own sleeves pushed up. Both of his arms are covered in tattoos, Sandor’s familiar style shining through on most of them. That loose fitting grey beanie he always seems to wear is gone now, his black hair slicked back instead. He’s just as handsome as Gendry and seeing them standing side by side, it’s enough to get a girl going. Right up until that little voice spoke up wondering out loud how I could ever think I deserved them. 

I pushed it aside and accepted one of the glasses of wine. Podrick checked on dinner and told us it would be ready soon and in the meantime, why didn’t we get comfortable in the living room. 

The house wasn’t what I expected, although I guess assuming it would look like a bachelor pad when neither of them were bachelors was a little silly. It’s very tasteful, a perfect mix of Gendry’s interests and Podricks. There are guitars on the walls, and sheet iron cutouts to accent them. There are photos too, more than I can say for my house. (The only photo I took with me when I left was of my dad, but I don’t have the heart to put it out yet. I don’t know why.) There are photos of Gendry and Podrick together, a photo of the whole community in the barn and I’m fairly certain there’s a couple of Gendry with Shireen Baratheon and her parents. 

“So, how’s the bed?” Podrick asks, drawing my attention back to them. 

“Great, it doesn’t even creak anymore.” I replied, genuinely happy. I hated that sound, so loud in a big empty space. Gendry flushes a bit as he accepts the praise and then quickly changes the subject.

“So, have you been out on the hiking trails yet?” he asks. 

“A couple of times.” I nodded. “A couple of days ago I went out and watched the sunrise and then the night I had dinner at the Seaworth’s Marya and I went on a hike to watch the sunset before dinner.” 

“That’s great. Just wait until it snows, it’s beautiful around here.” Podrick says. My eyes must have lit up or something, because he chuckled. “Looking forward to it then?” 

“I can’t wait. I love autumn, but as a true Northern Girl, snow is everything.” I said proudly. Gendry scoffed as Podrick laughed. 

“Don’t mind him, he grew up in the devil’s nutsack up in Flea Bottom.” I laughed at the comparison. Having lived in the Red Keep area I knew what he meant. The summers were unbearable and some years you could go straight from winter to summer with barely a transition in between. 

“What made you move away?” I asked him. I know from experience that the area was poorer compared to the rest of the city. 

“Self preservation.” he replies ruefully and I got the feeling he didn’t want to talk about it, so I turned to Podrick and asked him where he was from. 

“The Isle of Tarth.” he replied. “Loved it, but eventually I had to move away for school and I just never went back.” there is definitely more to it than that, but again, he doesn’t look like he wants to talk about it, so I press on elsewhere.

I asked them where they had gone to school. Podrick had studied music at the Storm’s End Conservatory and Gendry couldn’t afford art school so he apprenticed with a blacksmith in Flea Bottom, eventually building up a big enough client base through private and public art showings to start his own business. 

“I’d love to see some of your work.” I told him. 

“Just look around.” Podrick replied, to which Gendry said;

“This stuff is just accent stuff. A lot of my better stuff is out in the workshop. I’ll take you out there sometime.” 

xXx

**Email from Elysses Payne to Podrick Payne:**

Subject: Final Warning

If you wish to continue this debauchery while bearing the good name of Payne, you shall do it on the streets where heathens belong. I have given you every opportunity a young man can dream of, fine clothes, a roof over your head, the best schools in Westeros, you wanted for nothing and this is how you repay me? Tattoos maring your skin, poking holes where they do not belong and worse yet, galavanting across Storm’s End with that boy like a debauched sodomite. I have implored you to think about your mother’s mental health, implored you to consider the shame your actions will bring down upon this good Seven worshiping family, but nevertheless you persist. It is with this in mind that I give you one final opportunity. Cease and desist, or be cast out into the streets. 

Elysses Payne

**Email from Podrick Payne to Elysses Payne:**

Subject: It is a sign of great inner insecurity to be hostile to the unfamiliar

You may threaten me, you may disown me, you may shun me; cut me off from my family and those that love me for who I am. You can stand in the line light at your gold encrusted pulpit and praise the seven for your millions of viewers and your congregation all while hiding your own dirty little secrets in your deepest darkest closet, but I shall never hide away from my true self ever again. I like men as much as I like women, and I won’t pretend otherwise, not for you, not for mum and not for anyone else who would only love me for who they want me to be rather than who I am.

Your former son,

Podrick Ilyn Payne

xXx

**Journal Entry 8 (Cont.)**

Wow, I was a lot more exhausted than I thought. All that wine and rich food, It's a miracle I got as much written as I did before passing out last night. Now where was I, oh right. 

After Gendry offered to take me out to his workshop sometime, Podrick got up to check on dinner again and when he came back he told us it was ready. We ate at their dining room table, a truly gorgeous piece of work that apparently Davos had made them as a housewarming gift. The table was laid out with an impressive spread, pot roast and potatoes, broiled vegetables, bread they informed me Hot Pie made special for them. They even had him make a Northern desert just for me. It was wonderful, all of it truly wonderful. I haven’t eaten that well since… well, since the last time I was in Winterfell. I had that thought while we were eating and I pushed it out of my mind quickly before the melancholy could settle on my face. It didn’t seem to work because Gendry asked me if the food was alright and I rushed to tell them how delicious it was. 

Over dinner we talked about pretty much everything and Gendry even tried to weasel information about my new book out of me. I slyly informed him he would have to read it like everyone else, but I may have made a little mental note to get a publisher's precopy for him once it was finished and on its way to the presses. 

Now let’s see, what did I learn about them last night;

Gendry was born in Flea Bottom and spent all but the last six years there. Four years were spent in Storm’s End and the last two here on the Ranch (I’m sorry, I know, I’ll settle on a title for this place eventually. Anything but commune though, ugh). Podrick spent all of his life except the last ten on the Isle of Tarth where his father ran the family business, religion. Apparently he’s the son of Elysse’s Payne, the multi-million dollar preacher with the mega church and the syndicated Sunday morning service. For the last ten years he’s lived in Storm’s End before moving to the ranch three years ago. He mentioned his father all of once, and looked none too happy about it. I could draw my own conclusions from that and what I knew of the preacher from online news articles. 

Gendry was talented in multiple mediums of art, but since blacksmithing was so abundant in Flea Bottom that was his main medium. He loved it, learning to channel his anger through the hammer and into the metal. Podrick could do everything but sing apparently, having nearly lost his vocal chords to laryngitis as a child. I don’t think it’s taken away from his talent though, I’ve seen most of the movies he’s composed for and I must say, epic doesn’t even begin to describe them. 

I was right about the pictures with Shireen and Stannis. Gendry finally opened up explaining that he didn’t know who his father was all his life until a few years ago. Just before moving to Storm’s End Stannis showed up on his doorstep to inform him that he was the illegitimate son of Robert Baratheon. Gendry didn’t particularly care, and wanted nothing from Robert or anything to do with him, but Stannis informed him that it wouldn’t matter. Cersei was vindictive and it would be best if he left the city if possible. Stannis took him under his wing, protecting him from discovery and setting him up with a trust from Stag’s Head, the Baratheon family company, to keep him fluid enough to be safe from Cersei and her team of lawyers. 

Having spent far too much time around Cersei Lannister growing up, I couldn’t help but feel grateful to Stannis for watching out for Gendry. I was pleased to hear he and Shireen would be coming down at the end of September for the Autumn festival in Storm’s End’s rural areas.

They asked me about myself of course. Things they probably could have, and did, look up online, but it was nice that they asked. I told them about growing up on a ranch in the north, about my dad and all the hands that taught me how to work the fields and tend the animals. I told them about going to University and how I had wanted to write all my life. I told them about my siblings, avoiding the heavier topic of our nonexistent relationships. I even managed to tell them about my father’s death without crying. I’d like to think that’s progress, but I also think that’s just me trying not to make a fool of myself on our first date. 

Is that what it was? Our first date? I find myself truly hoping it was. 

After dinner came desert (which was amazing) and after that we got comfortable on the sofa again. We just talked again, talked all night. We talked about Gendry’s mom (died of cancer when he was thirteen) and Podrick’s unhealthy love of fried carnival food. We talked about my father’s death again, which wasn’t particularly easy, but the earnest way they looked at me as I talked about him really helped. I stopped just short of telling them about my little blow up after his will reading. 

By the time any of us looked at a clock, it was well past midnight. The idea that we just sat and talked for hours was incredible to me. I can’t remember the last time I spent so much time talking to someone I wasn’t obligated to. And the fact that I didn’t want to leave even though I knew I really should. 

They tried to get me to let them walk me home, but it was only down the road and I was sure I would be fine and I was, but we made sure to make plans to see each other again. We’re going on a picnic on the ridge tomorrow night to watch the sunset. 

I can’t wait. 


	6. Moving Forward

Life In Pieces

Chapter 6: Moving Forward

xXx

**Excerpt from a video taken on Podrick Payne’s phone:**

In much the same way as the previous video, the camera shows Podrick sitting beside Gendry, their faces taking up most of the screen. 

“So, what did we think of tonight?” Podrick asks. 

“I think we should have walked her home.” Gendry says a little petulantly. 

“I agree, but she insisted she was fine.” 

“I know, but she was wearing high heels and it’s dark out there. Not to mention how late it is and all that wine.” 

“I know, but we can’t force her to accept our help. We just have to trust that she can take care of herself.”

Gendry huffs, but doesn’t argue. 

“Other than that, what do we think of tonight?” Podrick tries again.

Gendry sighs. “I think it went well. We all learned a lot about each other, we made plans to see each other again. As far as first dates go, I think it was great.” 

“First dates?” Podrick asks, a teasing lilt to his voice. “You thought of this as a first date?” 

“Sure, didn’t you?” 

“Of course, here’s hoping she did.” 

“I think she did.” Gendry says with an air of confidence Podrick clearly doesn’t feel. He sighs, deflating in near exhaustion. “Now, let’s get to bed, I have to be up in a few hours to meet the delivery truck driver outside the valley.” 

xXx

**Journal Entry 9:**

Podrick and Gendry showed up at my door about an hour before sunset. This time instead of panicking I called Lommy immediately, getting his opinion on how to dress for the weather. He told me to wear the flowy green dress he had seen the night before with tights and flats good for walking. The walk up to the ridge they wanted to go to wasn’t nearly as much of a hike as any of the other trails so I would be fine dressed up. Which was good, because both Gendry and Podrick showed up in nice slacks and sweaters (who knew I was into that). 

They had a large picnic basket with them and together we walked up to the ridge, leisurely, just enjoying the scenery. At one point Podrick offered me his arm, which I thought was sweet, while Gendry walked a little ways ahead. 

“Long legs.” Podrick said, leaning closer to her. He whispered it like it was a secret and when I looked up at him he flicked his eyes to Gendry. “Couldn’t walk slow if his life depended on it.” 

“I can hear you.” Gendry called back over his shoulder. 

“You were meant to.” Podrick calls back. I laughed at the exchange. I couldn’t help it, they’re just so damn cute together and the fact that I get to be a part of this… it just blows my mind. How did I get so lucky? It must have been a good day today, cause that little voice never piped up to tell me I wasn’t lucky, I was just intruding on their relationship. 

As we emerged from the trees onto the ridge, the sun was nearing the horizon. Podrick and Gendry worked to spread out a gingham blanket on the ground. When that was done we all sat, emptying the basket and spreading out the food. Gendry poured us all a glass of wine and then we sat and watched as the sun went down, picking at the foods, all small bite sized morsels. It was so peaceful. 

“What do you think of this place so far?” Podrick asks, his voice is soft as he speaks, the sun almost completely gone and the world starting to take on that blue hue. Somehow, I’m not really sure how, I ended leaning back against Gendry between his legs while Gendry leaned back on a boulder. Podrick was sitting right beside us and when I turned to answer him, I found him watching us with a look I couldn’t quite place. 

“I love it here.” I told him and then, maybe because I was caught in the moment, or perhaps I just really wanted to unburden myself, but I continued; “I moved to King’s Landing to get away from my family, but I’ve missed the North so much. The weather, the scenery, the people. This is the closest I’ve come to the North in years.” 

They didn’t ask for more information, an explanation, and I’m grateful for that, because even as I said it I wished I could take it back. Everything I’ve heard about Gendry’s family and what I can infer about Podrick’s, they’ve got so much more to be bitter about than me, I mean, so my sister used to say mean things to me, and my mom’s an uptight controlling snob, at least I wasn’t disowned for my sexuality or hidden away in another city to avoid my stepmother’s legal team. 

I won’t lie though, hearing their stories, I feel more like I belong here than ever before. It’s not much, but maybe we can be rejects together. 

xXx

**Texts Between Gendry Waters and Podrick Payne:**

Podrick: What do you think Arya meant last night.

Gendry: ???

Podrick: When she said she moved to King’s Landing to get away from her family.

Gendry: I think it’s pretty self explanatory, love. 

Podrick: I know, but I’ve seen her family before. They’re kind of a big deal. Her older brother is a governor so I’ve seen the whole family on the news. They all talk like they're so close but, I mean Arya said she wanted to get away from them. That doesn’t sound like they’re all that close.

Gendry: I mean, no offense, but rich people aren’t exactly known for being open about their problems. I can’t imagine they would want the world to know they’re just as dysfunctional as everyone else. 

Podrick: I guess that makes sense. I’m just worried about her. She looked like she regretted saying it. I know we can’t make her talk to us about things she’s not comfortable talking about, but I think that at some point we need to have a deeper conversation about everything. Not just her baggage but ours too.

Gendry: You okay with that? You don’t exactly willingly talk about your shit anymore than I do.

Podrick: I know, but this is different. You and I have talked about finding Arya for years now. What we would do, how serious we are to complete our triad, I just think we all need to put aside our discomfort at least once to discuss things. 

Gendry: Alright, we’ll talk to her when I get back to the village. Are you still going over there for lunch today?

Podrick: No, she got a call from her editor. She pushed it back to dinner instead. 

Gendry: Ok, I’ll see you in the morning. Love ya.

Podrick: Love you too. 

xXx

**Journal Entry 10:**

Tonight was… emotionally draining. But I think that’s a good thing. Gendry had to go into Storm’s End overnight. He’s setting up an art show for next week and he’s finalizing details for it. So it was just Podrick and I tonight. He was supposed to come over for lunch, but I got a call from my editor about my meeting next week and ended up stuck on the phone for hours. So, he came over afterward for dinner, and by dinner I mean we plowed into a tub of ice cream together and swore not to tell Gendry. Apparently he’s somewhat of a health nut, the way I used to be in school. (maybe he can help me with my micro goal).

While we were eating, Podrick mentioned that he and Gendry had been talking and his tone was concerning. 

“We had a lot of trouble at first, opening up to each other about our pasts.” Podrick explained, cleaning his spoon. “Neither of us were easy to trust. We’d been through a lot and Gendry had a lot to worry about if anyone found out who he was, and I was pretty apathetic about everything with my family, so… well, to put it simply we just didn’t want to talk about it.” 

“But you did.” I said softly. He nodded. 

“Yeah, we did. We realized pretty early on that if we wanted the relationship we had always imagined with each other and eventually our third, we needed to get over it, to put it bluntly. So we made ourselves talk about it.” 

“Are you glad you did?” 

“Yeah, I mean, don’t get me wrong we didn’t fix each other or anything, just by talking about it, but it helped us to understand each other better, to help each other in our low points.” Podrick explained and it made sense. Logically I knew this was coming, I couldn’t keep it to myself forever, but I guess I didn’t expect it so soon. A part of me knew this was a good sign, it meant they were serious about me, that they really wanted me to be a part of their relationship as much as I wanted to be with them. 

“Okay.” I replied to his unspoken question. “Whenever you guys are ready, I’m ready.” I told him, taking a deep steadying breath. The ice cream was mostly gone and I put my spoon into the tub, setting it on the coffee table. I leaned back into the sofa, subconsciously wrapping my sweater around me. Podrick, who was leaning on his side beside me, sets his own spoon with my own and moves a little closer. He looks up at me sympathetically. 

“It’s never easy, we learned that the hard way, and you don’t have to force yourself, we’ll be ready when you are, but… if anything we learned that it was worth it. I can’t imagine my life with Gendry, something I would have to do if I hadn’t opened up.” he hesitated, looking up at me like he was trying to find the right words. “We… would very much like to imagine a life with you.” 

I don’t know how long I sat there staring back at him, but at some point I guess I started crying cause he was up suddenly, grabbing tissues from the far end table. He’s back at my side seconds later, wiping my cheeks with the tissues and smiling softly at me. Maybe it was the way he was looking at me, like I was the cutest thing he’d ever seen or the way he just jumped at the chance to try to make me feel better, but one minute I’m looking up at him as he wipes the tears from my cheeks and the next I’m kissing him. I just reached up and kissed him. For a second I was worried I had moved too soon, but it wasn’t long before he was kissing me back. 

We ended up laying on the sofa, just lazily making out in between dozing in and out. The only thing that was missing was Gendry. Podrick seemed to think the same, because at some point he pulled out his phone and sent him a video chat request, which he answered immediately. 

“Hey, how did- oh hello.” he answered as soon as the call connected. He does this little grin when he’s pleasantly surprised about something. The corner of his mouth tilts up just a bit and his eyes seem to sparkle. It’s so fucking cute. Podrick and I are lying on the sofa, Podrick behind me, my head on his arm as he holds the phone out in front of us. 

“Hi.” I reply followed by a jaw breaking yawn. 

“It’s pretty late, what are you guys still doing up?” Gendry asked. 

“Makin’ out.” Podrick replied, the teasing in his voice obvious. I couldn’t help but grin, burying my face in his arm to hide it. 

“Is that right?” Gendry asks, amused.

“Yep, jealous?” 

“Maybe.” Gendry replies loftily. 

Podrick chuckles. “What time do you think you’ll be home tomorrow?” 

“By noon at the latest.” 

“Great, we can all have lunch tomorrow and talk.” 

I hum in agreement, stifling another yawn. 

“Looks like someone is ready for bed.” Gendry says as I yawn again. 

“Yeah, maybe I should let you get some sleep so we’re all fresh and ready for tomorrow.” Podrick adds. I simply nod, getting up. He does the same, the call still active. 

“I’ll walk ya home, love.” Gendry jokes and we all chuckle. 

At the door, Podrick turned to say goodbye as he stepped outside, but before he could, I pulled him close and kissed him in a perfect line of sight for Gendry to see. I heard the sharp inhale from the phone and pulled away smirking. 

“Goodnight boys.” I said, stepping back into the cabin and closing the door. I heard the muffled, belated goodnight in return and resisted the urge to laugh until Podrick was gone. 


	7. Healing

Life In Pieces

Chapter 7: Healing

xXx

**An excerpt from the transcribed session between Dr. Edward Gilcrest, Sansa Stark and Catelyn Tully-Stark:**

Gilcrest: First I want to thank you for agreeing to come in today, Mrs. Stark.

Catelyn: Of course, why wouldn’t I? 

Gilcrest: Alot of people, especially mothers, find too much stigma in therapy and unfortunately many fear being blamed for things by their children’s therapist. 

Catelyn: My daughter needs my help, of course I’m going to be here for her.

Sansa: Mom, he’s not attacking you.

Catelyn: (Sighing) I’m sorry, I know that. I just… (pause) it doesn’t matter.

Gilcrest: It does, Catelyn, may I call you Catelyn?

Catelyn: Of course. (deep breath) I talked to your sister the other day.

Sansa: Really? She actually answered the phone?

Catelyn: She did, I was surprised too. 

Gilcrest: Can I ask how that went?

Catelyn: Alright, all things considered. We didn’t get into a fight or anything and she didn’t hang up on me. She’s moved down to the Storm’s End area, a little commune type village outside the city. She loves it apparently. 

Gilcrest: Is that all you talked about?

Catelyn: No, I (pause) I wanted her to know that (pause) well honestly I wanted her to know you were in therapy. 

Gilcrest: Why did you want her to know that?

Catelyn: I suppose I was hoping she would give us a second chance. It took awhile to understand what she was trying to tell me that day, but I get it now, at least I think I do, and I just (pause) I was hoping if she knew you were seeking help for your own issues, she might come home, at least to visit and we could (pause) be a family again. 

Sansa: Oh mom. 

Gilcrest: What did Arya say when you told her this?

Catelyn: Well, she sounded surprised at first, but then she did that thing, that thing that drove me insane when she was a child.

Gilcrest: What’s that?

Catelyn: She went blank.

Gilcrest: Blank?

Catelyn: No emotion, just, blank. You couldn’t read her at all. She was like a blank slate, no affect whatsoever. I couldn’t tell if she was angry, or sad, or happy. She just said that it would be good for Sansa and she was glad she’d taken the steps. 

Sansa: She was probably mad.

Gilcrest: Why do you think that?

Sansa: I would be. If I tried to tell someone there was something wrong and they ignored me or told me I was overreacting but then suddenly someone else tells them the same and they listen. I would be very angry. 

(Transcriptionist notes a long pause.)

Gilcrest: Catelyn, if I may. What made you consider that what Arya said to you might be true? With Sansa, her soulmate reiterated what she had already been told. Has someone said the same to you? Something other than that skirmish last Christmas?

Catelyn: No, not directly to me. (pause) I (pause) I found a letter in my husband's things. A carbon copy of a letter actually. My father-in-law wrote it right before we were set to marry. I assume, since I didn’t find the actual letter, the carbon copy came from his father’s things after he died and Ned probably didn’t even know it was there.

Gilcrest: Does that make a difference?

Catelyn: Absolutely. 

Gilcrest: What does it mean?

Catelyn: It means that despite everything, he loved me as much as I loved him. I know a lot of people questioned me about him and I know they questioned him about me, but I really did love him. 

Gilcrest: What was the letter about?

Catelyn: (Pause) Basically, his father was trying to convince him not to marry me. In broad strokes it was a list of reasons I wasn’t good enough for him. And I know the fact that Ned and I were married for so long is all the proof I need that he loved me, but… I think about the things he loved that I made him give up because I was embarrassed or… (sigh) I just feel so ashamed that I seemed to love him more when he was doing what I wanted and not what he loved. (sniffling)

Sansa: (Sniffling) Oh mom, you didn’t see the way he looked at you. He would have done anything for you.

Catelyn: (crying) I know and I think that’s the problem. No one, none of you kids, my siblings, my friends, or your father, has ever stood up to me before. No one has ever said no before. I’m so used to people jumping when I tell them that it never occurs to me that they don’t actually want to jump, they just don’t feel like they have a choice. (sniffling) and Arya finally realized she had a choice. 

xXx

**Journal Entry 11:**

I don’t feel like I can write all of this down. I think it’ll be easier to talk to you in person, honestly. So I’ll keep it simple. Gendry came home around noon just like he said. He and Podrick showed up shortly after. I made a simple lunch, and we ate and talked about mostly lighter subjects. He told us about his art show next week which I’ve been officially invited to (I’m so excited). He also asked about our night. We were a little cheeky about it. It was kind of fun teasing him about it, it felt like being a part of something special to be included in that. 

When we were done eating they helped me clean up and then we got comfortable in the living room. It took a little while but we finally got around to talking. I felt liberated, I felt lighter, I felt scared and exposed and like a raw nerve just ready to go off. But it was worth it, all of it. I told them everything, about my mum and my sister, about feeling like an outcast, about not wanting any part in the life my mother envisioned for all of us, and how I exploded on everyone at my father’s will reading. I. Told. Them. Everything. 

We talked for hours, eventually getting up to cook dinner together. When we were done we went back to the living room and just sat around, enjoying each other’s company. Podrick even took out his phone and snapped a picture of all of us cuddled up on the sofa. He tagged me in it on Instagram, I’ll have to remember to show it to you later. 

Like I said before, I’ll tell you everything in person, I know only you and I are going to read this, but I don't feel comfortable writing down anymore than I already have of the personal things they’ve shared with me. 

xXx

**An excerpt from the automatic recording of a video chat between Bran Stark and Jojen Reed:**

“What do you think?” Jojen Reed asks, his face blocked by the second window. 

“They’re handsome. Just her type too.” Bran replies, his face appearing in the small square in the corner of the screen, showing him looking up and away from the Jojen. 

“They’re names are Podrick Payne and Gendry Waters.” Jojen explained. “Gendry is an artist, who works as a blacksmith and Podrick is a composer. He’s got tracks on almost every major blockbuster.” 

“Impressive.” Bran replies. “Any links to Gendry’s work?”

“Uh, yeah, hang on.” Jojen replies and a second later the ding of instant messenger tells Bran he’s got a new message. “Not bad.” he says, clicking through the website. 

“Both are handsome, both are well off, both are talented, your sister really hit the soulmate jackpot.” 

“Yeah, well, if karma is as real as Sansa thinks, I think this is more karma for her than her soulmate telling her to fuck off.” Bran mutters. Bran sits up straight in his chair, looking out behind his computer. “Hang on, I think everyone is home. I’m going to put you on mute and show them this.” 

“Are you sure?” Jojen asks. 

“Positive. I think it’ll help.”

“Can’t wait to hear your explanation for that.” 

A cacophony of voice sound a moment later, all mixing and mingling with paper bags. The laptop is turned just enough to see take out bags being emptied onto the counter. 

“Hey, Bran, hope you're hungry, Rickon made us order the works.” Robb says. He’s standing somewhere out of range of the camera. 

“Starving, actually, but before we eat, I found something you guys might find interesting.” Bran replies.

“What’s that dear?” Catelyn asks. 

“Well, Jojen was browsing around social media today and he realized he was still friends with Arya on Instagram. Like a shockwave going off, the hustle and bustle around him silences. 

“Is that right?” Catelyn asks, her voice considerably more tense than before. “What did he find?” 

For a moment Bran hesitates, like he’s suddenly realized this might not be a good idea after all, but he pulls up the screen nonetheless, turning his computer around to face the crowd of his family around the kitchen island. 

“Arya found her soulmates.” he says simply. The group stares intently down at his computer screen, the perfectly square image of Arya sitting on a black leather sofa with two men flanking her on either side, displayed there. she ‘s smiling, her head resting on the shoulder of one of the men, while the other leans into her back, holding the camera out to take the picture. The caption simply reads “Complete”. “It was posted by a ‘Podspayne’ on Instagram about a week ago. I looked him up, his name is Podrick Payne and he’s a musical composer. The other man’s name is Gendry Waters, he’s an artist.” 

Surprisingly it was Sansa who spoke first. “They look good together.” she says, then grabs the bags she carried in and takes them into the dinning room. 


	8. A Year In The Life

Life in Pieces

Chapter 8: A Year In The Life

xXx

_ November _

**An Excerpt from a Video recorded by Podrick Payne and uploaded to Instagram:**

The image shakes a moment, then levels as Podrick’s face enters the frame. He’s smirking slightly, walking backward toward the bed where Gendry lays, face down at an angle, his face turned away from the camera. A thin arm is poked out from underneath him, resting against his broad back. 

Podrick reaches down behind him, using the screen to see where he’s reaching. He pokes at the petite, manicured hand, grinning as it swats at him after a moment. There’s a discontent, muffled groan before the hand travels southward, landing firmly on Gendry’s plaid covered butt. Podrick holds back a chuckle, flipping the camera to face out as he moves around the bed to the other side. The image slowly pans down as Podrick presumably crouches beside the bed, getting a better look at the tiny figure happily squeezed into the space between Gendry and the bed. 

“Babe.” Podrick whispers and this time two annoyed groans sound. “Come on babe, wake up.” 

“No, go away.” Arya groans, turning her face into Gendry’s shoulder. Gendry’s arm comes up, wrapping around her, his hand squeezing between Arya’s back and the mattress. Podrick chuckles.

“Babe, it snowed last night.” he tells her. There’s a moment of silence before slowly, Arya turns, blinking sleepily at the camera. 

“Really?” she questions her voice filled with a childlike wonder. He doesn’t answer audibly, but a moment later, Gendry is complaining loudly as Arya forces her way out from under him. The camera can barely follow her as she runs to the balcony doors and throws them open. From behind them, Gendry groans.

“Shut the fucking door.” his voice is muffled and Podrick merely laughs at him as he follows Arya out the door and onto the balcony where she’s looking out over the rail at the beautiful white landscape. It snowed at least five inches overnight and nothing has been disturbed yet. Not even Davos has gotten up to plow the roads yet. 

“It’s perfect.” she breathes, her breath materializing in front of her face. 

After a few moments, Podrick asks; “You want to go down there?” and the grin spreads across her face wider than ever. 

“Yes!” she exclaims giddily, darting back into the bedroom to scoop up her clothing from the chair in the corner. The video ends as it lands on Gendry, glaring sleepily up at him from the bed. 

xXx

_ December _

**A video taken by Gendry Waters and sent to Podrick Payne:**

The video shakes as Gendry steps up to the ladder leaning against the side of Arya’s house. The image pans up, taking a moment to adjust to the change in light before revealing Arya, reaching over the side of the ladder in an attempt to mount a hook to the gutter. 

“I thought you were working today?” Gendry speaks. Arya shrieks in surprise, wrapping an arm around the ladder to steady herself as she jumps. 

“Gods Gen, you scared me.” she says, the camera shaking as Gendry’s laugh filters through the speakers. 

“Sorry love, but again I say, aren’t you supposed to be working on making your deadline?” 

Arya peaks down at him under her arm and glares. “I’m taking a break.” she huffs.

“Uh huh, and how much work did you get done this morning before taking a break?” Gendry asks. She huffs again,turning her attention back to what she was doing. 

“You sound like my agent.” 

“Your agent knows what she’s talking about. You should listen to her.” 

Arya gets the hook placed and then waves Gendry’s comment away. There’s a moment afterward where she stands there on the rungs above him, staring through the footholds to the house beyond. She shakes her head suddenly, picking another hook out of the box sitting on one of the rungs and placing it on the opposite side. 

Gendry sighs, the sound fairly loud in the phone speaker. “Do you want some help?” he asks. 

“If you want to.” Arya replies, her tone giving away exactly how much she would like him to help her. He seems to pick up on it, chuckling as the camera loses sight of Arya, turning off. 

**A video taken by Podrick Payne:**

“So this morning, we all had a big conversation about how important it was that Arya got some work done on the second draft of her new novel.” Podrick speaks into the camera. He’s walking forward, dressed for the snow that litters the ground. It’s not night yet, but the sun is going down and Podrick is squinting against it as he walks, dividing his attention between his phone and the road. “She was adamant she couldn't do anything but work today.” he continues sounding amused. “So isn’t it funny that I should get a video a couple of hours ago from Gendry, of Arya, doing anything but working.” 

“Are you tattling on me?” Arya’s voice sounds off in the distance, a shout echoing around the valley. Podrick grins, looking out at the road. 

“Maybe.” he calls back. He looks back to the screen, reaching forward and switching the perspective. The video is a little shaky as Podrick walks, but ahead is Arya’s cabin. Arya is standing in the yard at the base of a ladder while Gendry hangs on the edge of said ladder, hooking string lights over the hooks Arya hung. “What are you up to?” he asks. 

“Decorating for the holidays.” Arya replies looking rather proud. Podrick chuckles. 

The camera pans up, revealing Gendry standing above them. “And what are you doing?” 

“Enabling.” Gendry replies, finishing what he’s doing before descending the ladder. His boots crunch in the snow as he steps down. Podrick chuckles. 

“Clearly. Are you done yet?” 

“Just about.” Gendry replies, gesturing to the empty storage tubs behind him. 

“With the outside anyway.” Arya speaks up, grinning ear to ear. 

“Well, if that can wait until later, I made dinner.” Podrick tells them, earning pleased grins. 

“Absolutely.” Arya says. “And when we’re done we can come back out and test the lights.” 

“Sounds good.” Gendry agrees. “Now put the camera away and help us put the boxes away.” 

**A picture posted to Arya’s Instagram:**

Arya, Gendry and Podrick stand together, Arya clinging to Gendry’s side as he hoists her up so she’s level with his head. Podrick stands behind her, pressed against her back, holding the camera out to get all of them in frame. It’s dark, and around them are little points of white and blue lights twinkling in the darkness. 

xXx

_ January _

**Journal Entry 20:**

It’s officially been five months since I met Gendry and Podrick. It honestly doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. I guess time really does fly when you’re having fun. And I really have been having the time of my life. How can I not be with soulmates like them? They’re amazing, have been through all of this. For the first time in years I feel… wanted. I feel like I’m not alone anymore. 

I-I actually told them that the other day; all of it and… I can’t really explain their reactions. Gendry looked… happy, like I was telling him he was succeeding at something and Podrick, well he looked pained. It was almost as if… it hurt to hear I ever felt otherwise. It makes sense, especially knowing what I know about his father. Gendry explained before that Podrick grew up knowing exactly who he was while his father reminded him that what he did made him “undesirable”. Of anyone in the world he would know that feeling better than most. 

Gendry knows what it feels like to be unwanted too, but I also think he doesn’t care in the same way that Podrick and I do. The only person who's never wanted him was a father Gendry didn’t want, so I think he thinks that means it didn’t affect him the same way. But it did, you can see it in the way he looks when I talk about my father. I feel like I should say something, tell him it’s okay to hate Robert for not wanting him as much as he hates him for what a terrible person he is. 

It’s amazing how easy it is to talk to them. Ever since that first night we opened up to each other it feels like I can just tell them anything. I mean obviously I don’t tell them everything, I’m still stubborn, but that little voice that used to tell me I should keep it to myself so I wouldn’t bother anyone with my issues is quiet now. So I know I could tell them if I really needed to. 

xXx

_ February _

**Journal Entry 29:**

My sister called. I almost didn’t answer. I mean between being completely surprised that she called at all and the little nugget of loathing I felt when I saw her name pop up, I think it was a miracle that I did. 

There were a few seconds where she didn’t say anything after I answered. Apparently she didn’t actually expect me to answer. Eventually she catches up and says hello and everything is super awkward for a while, the conversation is stilted and to be honest I really don’t have anything to say, so unless she says something first this is just an awkward conversation neither of us wants to have.

She tells me at some point that she just wanted to check in, she had heard about my finding Gendry and Podrick and wanted to see how I was doing. Under normal circumstances, with anyone else, I would have been more delicate with my answer, knowing of course that she was rejected by her own, but after years of torment I honestly didn’t give a shit. So I was honest. I told her how great they are and how well we’re doing. Things are going so well, there’s been talk of us moving in together by the end of the year, especially since my house is basically just an office at this point. 

I’ll give her credit, she did a pretty good job not sounding upset by everything. Either she really is growing as a person, or she’s a better actor than I’ve ever given her credit for because she sounded genuinely happy for me. It was unnerving. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, just like with my mother, waiting for that moment where she revealed exactly why she was trying to throw me off balance. But it never happened and despite the detached way I handled the whole thing, it wasn’t too bad. We were on the phone for over an hour and she basically filled me in on things. Apparently my mother sat in on a therapy session with Sansa and decided to seek help herself. 

Is it wrong to think this is a sign of the apocalypse?

Anyway, I told Gendry and Podrick about the call. They were supportive and said it was a sign that she might be trying. And their right, it is, but it doesn’t stop the hurt feelings. I know I should have a full discussion with, put everything aside that can be put aside and try to figure out a way to move on, not for her, but for me, but the night she called I tossed and turned, replaying all the hurts in my head and just getting myself worked up. Eventually I had to go sleep on the couch so I wouldn’t bother Podrick and Gendry. They were really sympathetic in the morning and we ended up making it a lazy day in, which is exactly what I needed.

I think if she calls again I’m going to be more open to it, or at least I’m going to try to be. As much as I talk about still being angry, I really miss my family and my home and I… I miss my dad. I haven’t been to his grave since I left, nor have been able to pray at the memorial, I just… I want to do that so badly, but I can’t make myself go up there, not right now. But I will, one day. 

xXx

_ March _

**A Collection of Photos Uploaded to Instagram:**

The first picture is a selfie. Arya and Gendry are crammed on either side of Podrick at the breakfast bar in their kitchen. Podrick is grinning widely as they each kiss him on the cheek, a collection of decadent breakfast foods laid out in front of him. 

The second picture is of Podrick sitting on the sofa in his home, a colorful paper cone hat on his head. He’s smiling ruefully down at the tray of cupcakes on the coffee table in front of him. There’s a light blush along his cheeks and caught in free fall are pieces of confetti. 

The third picture includes the residence of the village in the common barn. Standing all together around Podrick, Davos on one side and Hot Pie on the other each holding an end of sign that read ‘Happy Birthday, Podrick!’, in large black letters. Podrick is grinning brightly, though he looks a bit embarrassed by the display. 

The final photo is of Podrick sitting in the driver’s seat of a newly restored classic car. Gone is the embarrassment of all the attention, now replaced with a bright grin and tears in his eyes. The caption reads;

_ “As a child on Tarth I dreamed over owning a car like this. This exact make and model, even the color. I remember telling Gendry about it years ago but never considered that I would ever actually own one, it just didn’t seem important enough to focus on. Now thanks to my wonderful soulmates I can finally live a dream come true.” _ #blessed #summerroadtrip

xXx

_ April _

**Journal Entry 37**

Since February, my sister has called three times and my mother four. Each time I hold my breath for that other shoe and each time I’m surprised when it doesn’t drop. I don’t want to get my hopes up but I really think they’re seriously trying to fix things. I don’t know for sure if things can be fixed but I think I’m willing to try. It won’t be easy, but it feels like it’s getting just a bit easier every time I talk to one of them. I don’t find myself over analyzing everything after every phone call, not like after that first call with my mother last year. 

Gendry and Podrick are very supportive of the whole thing, assuring me that they will support me no matter what happens or what I chose to do. I don’t know how I got so lucky to find two soulmates so open and loving and supportive. 

I love them, I don’t think I can keep that to myself anymore. I really love them. I want to spend the rest of my life with them. 

Do you think it’s weird that these entries keep getting shorter? Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?

xXx

_ May _

**A Collection of Photos Uploaded to Instagram:**

The first photo, similar to Podrick’s, shows Gendry sitting at the breakfast bar with a full breakfast spread. He’s smiling shyly, a light blush across his cheeks while Arya kisses one cheek and Podrick wraps his arms around both of them from the other side. 

The second photo shows him standing with Shireen Baratheon, arms around each other, the height difference blatant as her cheek rests on his chest. She’s grinning happily, while Gendry seems to be showing off the shirt she got him for his birthday from Storm’s End University, the school she was accepted to. 

The third photo is of Gendry standing in the common barn holding a flashing neon sign that reads Happy Birthday, Gendry!. He looks thoroughly mortified by all of the attention. There is however a gleam in his eyes that tells anyone looking at the photos that he’s happy to be there regardless. The photo immediately after it shows Arya jumping up onto his back while Podrick holds the sign out, making a ridiculous face. Gendry looks considerably more comfortable. 

The fourth photo is the sweetest, with Arya sitting with her legs across Gendry’s lap, a blanket over them, while Podrick sits beside them. Podrick is holding the camera as they all cuddle together and despite how happy gendry seemed in all the other photos, in this one in particular, he’s never looked more happy.

xXx

_ June _

**A video from Podrick Payne’s phone:**

As the video starts, the sound of waves crashing against the white sandy beach invades the speakers. The camera scans the horizon, pure white sand meeting deep teal waters. It continues on until it stops on a woman, her back to the camera, standing at a distance in the shallows. She’s wearing a black bikini and her hair is wet and slicked back. The image sits on her for a minute or two before zooming in abruptly. The image pans up and down eventually stopping on her ass. 

“What are you doing?” Gendry’s voice sounds off camera. 

“Enjoying the view.” Podrick replies. Gendry chuckles, his voice louder as he gets closer. 

“It is a nice view.” he agrees. 

Podrick huffs a laugh. “Do you think we could convince her to fool around in the cabana?” 

“Maybe.” 

The video continues on with only the sound of the waves and the birds overhead. Eventually Arya turns around, spotting them. The image zooms out enough to show her face and they laugh as they notice her disgruntled look over the rim of her sunglasses. She wades out over the water, making her way to them and when she’s close enough to be heard without yelling, asks; 

“What are you doing?” 

“Enjoying the view.” Gendry replies, his voice full of amusement. Arya stops short, hands on her hips. 

“The ocean is very beautiful.” she says, sounding skeptical. 

“Sure.” Podrick replies. 

Arya rolls her eyes, continuing forward until she reaches them and kneeling on the beach blanket. The camera shifts from her face to her very visible cleavage before moving back to her face. She looks equal parts annoyed and amused. 

“You’re incorrigible, you know that?” she asks, crawling toward him until he has to move the camera out of the way for her. 

xXx

_ July _

**Journal Entry 42:**

I’ve decided, with careful consideration and much discussion with Gendry and Podrick, to go back to Winterfell for the holidays this year. It was not an easy decision to make, but with my relationship progressing and the conversations with both my sister and mother on my mind, it’s important to me to put all of this to rest. It’s time to go home and talk and either heal or put all of this behind and build a new life with Gendry and Podrick. 

I haven’t worked up the nerve to tell my mother yet, I will though. It’s time to finally put this all to rest, one way or another. 

xXx

_ August _

**A Collection of Photos Uploaded to Instagram:**

The first photo, like the two before, shows Arya sitting at the breakfast bar in front of a decadent breakfast spread. Gendry and Podrick stand on either side of her, each kissing her on the cheek. Unlike the other two previous photos, where both men seemed bashful at the attention, Arya revels in it, grinning brightly as they shower her in affection. 

The second photo shows Arya in a beautiful summer dress in the common barn, smiling sweetly at the camera as she holds up the little malamute puppy Gendry and Podrick had gotten her. Her eyes sparkle with joy as she cuddles the fluffy animal and the caption reads;

_ “A bittersweet addition to our family. My first companion since my darling Nymeria passed away a few years ago. Welcome to the family, Fenrir.”  _ #happybirthdaytome #malamutesofinstagram 

There are various photos of Arya with the other residents of the village, including one where she and Lommy pose in vogue style for the camera. 

The final photo is of Arya laying between Gendry and Porick in their bed, Fenrir sleeping on her chest and the three of them smiling up at the camera. 

xXx

_ September _

**A video from Gendry Waters’ phone:**

The camera shakes as Gendry sits on the sofa, Arya sitting beside him, Fenrir curled up asleep in her lap. She’s reading a book, one hand stroking softly through his fur. 

“Hey.” Gendry says softly, his face in the corner of the screen. Arya looks up from her book a little wide eyed, like she’s not fully present in the moment. “You’ve been here for a whole year.” he continues just as softly, a little smile on his face. Slowly a smile grows on Arya’s face. “What do you think so far?” he asks. 

“It’s a dream come true.” she tells him. 

xXx

_ October _

**Journal Entry 50:**

It’s been over a year since I moved here now and I can’t think of another point in my life where I’ve done something or made a decision that’s impacted me so profoundly as this. I don’t even think cutting myself off from my family for so long could compare to the immense joy and happiness and just… completeness that I feel here in the village with Gendry and Podrick. 

We talk about soulmates all our lives, about how they’re meant for us and how they’re everything we need in the world but I don’t think I’ve ever really believed in that so much as I did once I met them. They’re amazing men, warm and kind and loving and there’s nothing I want more than to make them happy. I know I’ve said this before, but I want to spend the rest of my life with them and I know they feel the same. Mostly because they asked me to. 

They’ve asked me to marry them, in the southern godswood next spring when the blossoms are bright and pink. I’ve said yes, of course, and if it weren’t for their insistence that we wait until after they meet my family in December, I would have dragged them out there as soon as they asked. I know it may seem sudden to some, but truth be told, I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life before now. 


End file.
